Shocking Secrets About Elvis

SHOCKING SECRETS ABOUT ELVIS REVEALED IN AGONIZING TRUE-LIFE CONFESSIONS OF LONG-TIME FAN Lyla enters. We're in her living room. She's wearing a tight, fuzzy sweater, and Capri pants with gold mid-heel sandals--looking very much like the classic Elvis girlfriend from the movies, though at least twenty years too far on. She's got something to tell us, but she's not quite ready to get to it. She sits and takes a moment to get comfy. She lights a cigarette, takes a sip from her coffee cup. LYLA I just love the way cigarettes and coffee go together, don't you? It's like--liquid butter turning into air or something. I like the way they kind of grab my chest: take that puff, sip a little sip, and you get a kind of a breathless, fluttery feeling, now don't you? Like first love. She smiles at herself. Looks to us to see how we're receiving this. Finding us not too judgmental, she relaxes a little. I mean, ok, I know I shouldn't do any of this ...